2022-12-02: Manhood - Integrity
Visual Aid:
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Objective
- The value of having integrity in "Being a Man"
- Even the world values Integrity, but our integrity is different
- To be a man of my word, but more importantly a man of THE Word
Key Verse
"Likewise, exhort the young men to be sober-minded, in all things showing yourself to be a pattern of good works; in doctrine showing integrity, reverence, incorruptibility, sound speech that cannot be condemned, that one who is an opponent may be ashamed, having nothing evil to say of you." (Titus 2:6-8)
Introduction
What makes you a man?
When do you go from being a boy to being a man?
- The world tells us so many different things:
- Some will say "When you turn 18"
- Some will say "When you've gone through puberty... you have a deep voice, you have a beard, you gain some height and muscle mass, etc.
- Some will say "When you have a career" or will base it off some measure of success
- Some will say "When you have sex"
- This is our third lesson in this series so we must know some things by now
- We talked about the Godly View of Success and what it means to be successful - it's not about fame or fortune. We know people who are famous grown adults who we wouldn't consider them to be "men" - they don't act like "men." We know people with a lot of money, who don't act like "men"
- We talked about how to deal with anger - this is a big part of being a man. When you see someone at a restaurant berating the waitress and yelling at her because she got the order wrong or she dropped something, you never think "wow he's such a man." Rather, you think "why is he acting like a child?"
- And that's the thing about being a man: you can instantly recognize someone who is a man. And it's not by how they look, but by how they act.
- Today we're going to talk about Integrity and what that means for us as Orthodox Christians and as men
Scripture on Becoming a Man
"Likewise, exhort the young men to be sober-minded, in all things showing yourself to be a pattern of good works; in doctrine showing integrity, reverence, incorruptibility, sound speech that cannot be condemned, that one who is an opponent may be ashamed, having nothing evil to say of you." (Titus 2:6-8)
St Paul is writing to Titus here and giving him instructions to exhort the young men with. To guide the young men into manhood.
- Sober-minded
- Pattern of good works
- Integrity
- Reverence
- Incorruptibility
- Sound speech that cannot be condemned
We can relate these to many of our topics, but one that stands out is Integrity
Integrity
The dictionary definition of Integrity is actually pretty good - The quality of being honest and having strong moral principles; moral uprightness.
We are gonna break this down into two parts for today:
- Being a man of your word
- Being a man of THE Word
In essence - Don't be Fake! One of the big attractors to non-believers in the first centuries to join Christianity was that the Christians were genuine and full of integrity. They did what they said. They believed in what they said. They acted morally and ethically even when the pagan society did not.
Nowadays, many people leave Christianity or reject Christianity because of Christians. Because they don't do what they preach. They're fake. They don't have integrity.
Today we're going to look at these two parts and take some case studies for them and decide in those case studies what the right thing to do is.
Body
Case Study 1
Kyrillos is a 9th Grade boy who loves playing video games. He hops on Xbox Live twice a week with his friends from church around 8pm, after he finishes his homework and they play 2k for a few hours. One night, Kyrillos’ mom needed to head to bed a little early because she had an early morning; so she reminded him of one of his weekly chores: “Don’t forget to take out the trash tonight!” Kyrillos responded “Bet! I got you mom – after I finish this game.” She said goodnight and went to sleep. That night, Kyrillos and his friends played until midnight. Kyrillos was really tired at the end and couldn’t even focus on what was in front of him; he knocked out on the couch. In the morning, Kyrillos’ mom woke up very early, realized the trash was still in. So she took the trash out herself.
- Did Kyrillos act with integrity?
- Kyrillos did not act with integrity. If this is the first time, then hopefully Kyrillos will apologize and will make it a point to take out the trash every week. Maybe even without being asked. Integrity means giving priority to small things and not just big things. The Lord talks about going the extra mile – imagine taking out the trash without being asked at all!
- What are the consequences of this scenario? (For Kyrillos, his mom, and in general)
- She was giving him an opportunity here to be a man and help around the house and stick to his word. She trusted him, and this incident can start to form cracks in that trust.
- What should Kyrillos have done differently?
- He could have done it on the spot so he doesn’t forget
- What would you say about someone who puts video games above helping his mom, helping his house, and keeping his word? Would you say that he's a man?
Case Study 2
Anthony is a 10th grade boy who has a lot on his plate – he is taking an almost full schedule in High School, along with 2 College Classes. He’s also on the school’s Basketball team. He does Preservants at church. He has chores to do at home. Anthony was visited in his home by two servants – they were surprised to find his Bible Passport completely empty… they explained to him the importance of reading the Scripture on a daily basis. Anthony agreed with them. Anthony gave them his word that he would start from that day and try to read at least three times a week. That night, Anthony read 12 chapters and filled in three boxes a week for the next four weeks.
- Did Anthony act with integrity?
- Integrity is not always just about results – it’s about how you get there. It’s about being honest with the end AND the means.
- Integrity is not always just about results – it’s about how you get there. It’s about being honest with the end AND the means.
- What are the consequences of this scenario?
- Anthony missed out on the blessing and grace of daily Scriptural reading. Anthony also may find himself receiving a gift or a reward for something he didn’t do faithfully. Anthony does not build a habit of reading Scripture in this way, and loses the whole point of the Bible Passport. Anthony’s servants, unaware of what is happening, will consider him to be growing and may serve him in a way that is different, but not what he needs.
Case Study 3
Pishoy is a 9th grade boy who doesn’t have that much money. One day, he’s out with his friends and they decide to hit McDonalds for a quick lunch. Pishoy only has two dollars to spend, so he decides to grab two things from the dollar menu. He also gets a water cup. He sees that the rest of his friends also purchased a drink cup. When he gets to the soda machine, he looks behind him to make sure the employees aren’t looking, and he fills his water cup with Sprite. He takes his place with his friends and eats his meal.
- Did Pishoy act with integrity? What are the consequences of this scenario?
- Sometimes we use the excuse “well no one got hurt” – It’s true that McDonalds isn’t going to suffer a loss from the one drink Pishoy didn’t pay for. But someone got hurt here: Pishoy did. Pishoy is not being honest with himself and he has fallen into the sin of theft. And his integrity is in question.
- Sometimes we use the excuse “well no one got hurt” – It’s true that McDonalds isn’t going to suffer a loss from the one drink Pishoy didn’t pay for. But someone got hurt here: Pishoy did. Pishoy is not being honest with himself and he has fallen into the sin of theft. And his integrity is in question.
Pishoy did not end up repenting from his McDonalds sin… in fact, he justified it in his mind and said “well it’s not like McDonalds needs the money.” A few days later, he’s with the same group of friends and they decide to hit the 7-11 for some snacks. Unfortunately, he didn’t have any money. All his friends would be snacking on Takis and Hot Fries without him… he realizes that 7-11 is just as rich as McDonalds and they wouldn’t feel any pain from a bag of chips. He uses the “5-finger discount” and grabs a bag of Takis.
- What do you think of Pishoy's progression?
Case Study 4
Petro is a 10th grade boy who maintains a 4.0 GPA. He is, by God’s grace, very intelligent and very hard working. This semester, he started to take a college math class in addition to his High School classes. The college class turned out to be much more difficult than any class he’d ever taken. Petro needed help. He needed to maintain his GPA… and it’s not like this class ACTUALLY matters for the career he wanted. Petro’s assignments were stacking up. He didn’t have time to focus on these difficult math assignments. Petro started googling the answers… he found a website made for his exact textbook. Just enter the numbers from your problems and you get a solution – with the work and the answer and all. Petro used this to solve all of his assignments and his online exam. Petro did not get caught.
- Did Petro act with integrity? What are the consequences of this scenario?
Petro, not learning from or repenting from his past indiscretion, took another college class the next semester – English Composition. This class was even harder and more workload than the math class. He had an essay due in just a few days that he wasn’t sure where to start with it. When doing his research, he found a similar essay online about a similar topic. He took the essay and changed several of the words in it from the other topic to his topic. The new paper was unrecognizable from the old one and Petro was proud of the work that he had done. Petro submitted it. The Plagiarism Checker returned a 75% match and Petro got caught.
- What do you think of Petro’s progression?
Case Study 5
Samson is a 10th grade boy. He attends Sunday School and Bible Study every week, and he is a deacon. He understands the principles of his faith and tries to live by them. A girl at school takes interest in Samson. She starts showing him more attention and starts to text him pretty regularly. At lunch, she sits by him and sometimes they take pictures for the ‘gram. They aren’t officially dating or anything like that, but Samson starts to spend some time with her outside of school as well. Samson starts posting some of the pictures on his social media. When confronted by a servant, Samson tells the truth – they aren’t dating; they’re just friends; even though he knows that she likes him.
- Is Samson acting with integrity? What are the consequences of this scenario?
- Integrity doesn't just mean saying things that are truthful - it means telling the truth; the whole truth. Without omission.
- Samson did not act with integrity because even if there’s no official title of “dating” or “girlfriend” or anything, there is clearly a 1:1 relationship happening where at least one side is romantically attracted to the other. Samson is also not acting with integrity with the girl – he is leading her on. She may think that he likes her or that he will eventually “give in” and start dating her.
Contemplation
Grant us, O Lord, to have integrity in everything that we do. Integrity in our school and work. Integrity in our homes with our wives and children and parents and siblings. Integrity in our ministry and our service. Integrity in all of our actions and interactions. Let us, O Lord, be like You - You who never wavered in doing what is right, in accomplishing Your ministry and Your goal, You who never said You'd do something and didn't do it. You, O Lord, who are the perfection of all that is good and the model for Integrity. Let us take the example of the saints before us who lived lives of integrity. The example of Job who when his friends even asked him "Why do you still have integrity" he knew to be unwavering. Let us not succumb to the temptations that test our integrity - peer pressure and image and falsehood.