There is a time for that

Objective

• Discuss the purpose of dating
• Review the benefits of singleness
• Encourage youth to develop friendships and postpone dating
  

Memory Verse
"To everything, there is a season, a time for every purpose under heaven." (Ecclesiastes 3:1)
"Or do you not know that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God, and you are not your own?" (1 Corinthians 6:19)

Introduction
Today, we are going to spend some time talking about the subject of dating. We'll also discuss singleness and friendships.

Lesson Outline

1. God's intention for us as Christ-followers
2. Biblical view on marriage.
3. History of dating.
4. Why shouldn't young people date now?
5. What is the point of singleness?
6. The story of Peter
7. How can you remain just friends with people from the opposite sex?
8. Five attitude changes, which can help you, avoid dating too early

1. God's intention for us as Christ-followers.

• We begin today by talking about God's intention for us as Christ-followers God wants us to be not only physically pure but also pure in our motives, our minds, and our emotions.
• We read in (1 Peter 1:16) ""For it is written 'be holy because I am holy"
• What does the word holy" mean? It means being dedicated to God and following His commands.
  
• Christ is our example in all things. We need to remember that our being which includes our physical, mental and emotional natures, belong to God and they are considered the temples of the Holy Spirit.
  
• We read in (1 Corinthians 6:19-20) "Or do you not know that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, who you have from God, and you are not your own? For you were bought at a price; therefore, glorify God in your
  body and in your spirit, which are God's
• Jesus Christ suffered for our sakes. God has a good plan for our liveS, and He allows things to happen in a specific time. He does this for our own protection and our good.
• (Jeremiah 29:11) tells us "For I know the thoughts that I think toward you' says the Lord, 'thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope",
• God does not just try to take away the fun from us with His rules. He established them for our own benefit.

2. Biblical view on marriage.

• Let's review the Biblical perspective of marriage. Marriage was the first institution ever created. It was one of the first
  things ordained by God Himself.,
  
• (Genesis 2:24) says " Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become
  one flesh".
  
• Marriage is also held in honor. In ( Hebrews 13:4), we read "Marriage is honorable among all, and the bed undefiled; but
  fornicators and adulterers God will judge."
  
• So, from both of these verses, we can see that marriage is God-given, honorable and holy. There is a concept, which states that the joy of intimacy is the reward of commitment. Basically, this means that when two people are committed to each other through marriage, they get to receive the benefits and happiness of closeness.
  
• God has provided sex as a gift to a husband and wife who are committed to each other.
  

3. History of dating.

• Did you realize that dating is a relatively new thing? Let's look at the history of dating. Here in America, before the 20th century, dating involved commitment and responsibility. The end goal of dating was marriage, not simply having fun.
  
• People only spent time alone with the opposite sex with the intention of considering this person as a potential future spouse. the turn of the century, with the invention of cars and movie theaters, the culture of dating began to change. It was looked upon differently and the purpose shifted from a serious time to evaluate another person, to an opportunity to show off and act coo! by being with several different people.
  
• The idea of dating has evolved as Hollywood used it to promote their products and make money. Suddenly there was a lot of pressure for young people to compete with each other for dates with popular people and the ability to brag
  about how many people they were in relationships with.
  
• Unfortunately, our society followed Hollywood and began to conform to its
  ways.
  

4. Why shouldn't young people your age date now?

• There are many good reasons not to date at a young age. First, dating is a result of people being self-seeking or self-loving.
  
• Dating without any commitment only fulfills our personal needs or lusts by using others and not caring for them,
  
• It is a selfish act and does not teach us true love, which is selfless.
  
• We read in (1 Corinthians 13:5) that love does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil"
  
• Dating also distracts us from making good friends because of our focus on outward appearance and not genuine inner qualities.
  
• The end goal of dating is not marriage and therefore the relationship is useless and not beneficial. Dating at a young age also decreases the time period we are single, which is a time God uses to grow and build us.
  
• What is the point of singleness?
  
• But for the present time, God has given you a period of time to remain single.
  
• What is the point of singleness? Singleness is a season of our lives, is unmatched in opportunities for growth, learning,
• At this point in your lives, you are responsible for your schoolwork and maybe some household chores. But other than that, you are not working outside of the home or having to take care of many other responsibilities.
• Therefore, this is the best time for you to continue growing and learning, and to spend time serving others before you have the added responsibilities, which come when you are older.
  
• This is not the time to be focused on boyfriends and girlfriends. Dating at an early age causes people to look at things they don't have instead of enjoying life with God, friends, and family.
  
• God wants us to enjoy the season of life we are in now, rather than looking ahead and wishing we were older.
  
• He has made this time for us to develop and wants us to grow in patience and trust. In the right time, He will provide all things for us including our love lives. Being single has a special purpose to God. We read in 1 Corinthians 7:32 "But I want you to be without care. He who is unmarried cares for the things of the Lord-how he may please the Lord"
  
• Single people are able to dedicate more time and energy to serving God because they do not have a spouse and children to care for.
  
• Trusting God to take care of every part of our lives can be hard, but it is important.
• Rushing ahead of His timing can bring trouble. The right thing at the wrong time is the wrong thing
• As our memory verse explains, "To everything, there is a season, a time for every purpose under heaven'". Just because something is good doesn't mean we should pursue it right now.
  
• We must remember that the right thing at the wrong time is the wrong thing. We should not chase after things that can harm us
• God has a perfect plan for your life. More than likely, that plan includes marriage, and if so, somewhere in this world, God has the right person for you. There is a time to pursue marriage, but the time is not now.
  

5. The story of Peter

• Let me tell you a story about a boy named Peter. He was an impatient boy who always dreamed about the future,
  
• One day as he was wandering in the forest, he saw an old woman who gave him a crystal ball. With it, he could skip any moment of his life and move ahead into the future. One day in school, Peter was bored in class and used the crystal ball to fast-forward the time. He continued to use it to skip large portions of his life.
  
• Many years later, at the end of his life, Peter realized the emptiness of such an existence because he robbed himself of life's richest moments and memories. He regretted using the crystal ball and was saddened about his impatience.
  
• He wondered how much of his life he had missed. Many times, we also want
  things to happen right now. But by wishing for this and focusing too much
  on the future, we forget about all the blessings we have right now. We may
  miss out on the unforgettable experiences and memories of today.
  
• Rather than concentrate so much on dating, we should focus on building friendships. It is very important to keep your relationships with the opposite gender out of the romantic zone
  
• In 1 Timothy 5:2, Saint Paul instructs his spiritual son, Timothy, to treat younger women as "sisters, with absolute purity". And in 2 Timothy 2:22, Saint Paul writes "Flee also youthful lusts, but pursue righteousness, faith, love, peace with those who call on the Lord out of a pure heart"

6. How can you remain just friends with people from the opposite sex?

• First, understand the difference between friendship and intimacy. Remember, intimacy means closeness, and it is
  inappropriate for young people to become too close with others of the opposite sex.
  
• It is wise to set physical and emotional boundaries with others so that you are not tempted to become too close to them.
  
• Next, be inclusive, not exclusive. This means that you should include others in activities with the opposite sex rather than spend time alone together
  
• It is important that you do not isolate yourselves with another person but be in groups instead
  
• It's also important that you spend time with people of the same gender at your age because you will find that you have more in common with them.
• Finally, make sure to set aside some time for service. Serving along with others is a great way to know friends in a deeper way while doing something useful at the same time
  
• There is a lot of pressure from society on you to become involved with dating at your age.

7. Attitude changes, which can help you, avoid dating too early

1. So, let's think about five attitude changes, which can help you avoid dating too early
   
2. First, every relationship is an opportunity to model Christ's love. Relating to people the way Christ did, in a kind and compassionate way, will prevent us from becoming self-centered
3. Second, remember that your unmarried years are a gift from God. Enjoy this time of your life. Many times, young people can't wait to grow up because they think adults have a lot of freedom. But adults have so much responsibility and little time to enjoy life.
   
4. Third, it is important to realize that you don't need to pursue a romantic relationship before you are ready for marriage. In fact, getting involved with someone at a young age will likely bring about heartache
   
5. Remember the concept we talked about before - the joy of intimacy is the reward of commitment. Without a commitment to marriage, you cannot experience the true joy of intimacy with another person.
   
6. When people are only dating, they have no rights over the other person. In marriage, however, a husband and wife become one body and therefore, this is a completely different relationship than simply dating.
   
7. Finally, it is critical to remember that you should avoid situations that could compromise the purity of your body or mind
8. True purity flees as fast and as far as it can from sin and compromising situations. Protect your heart from sinfulness. Proverbs 4:23 says "Keep your heart with all diligence, for out of it spring the issues of life.
   
9. There are a few final concepts to remember. Most likely, people who are dating at your age will not marry that person in the future. This is because teens have not yet fully developed mentally or emotionally, and therefore adolescents are not able to commit to another person.
   
10. Lifelong commitment requires a great deal of maturity and sacrifice. Finally, we cannot love as God loves and date as the world dates. God's love is about putting others first, but dating is really about pleasing ourselves.
    

Conclusion
We talked a lot about dating and God's plan for teenagers. The real purpose of dating is to evaluate someone for marriage. It's important to use this time in your life to develop friendships and continue growing. Remember, if you have any questions or concerns; please feel free to talk to any of us. We are here to help and support you.